Kyle Wellwood Wants to Play in the Desert

Unfortunatly he thought they said dessert.

What brings Kyle Wellwood to Phoenix? Was he playing hopscotch and going Washington, Oregon, Nevada, Utah? Are they looking to create a shade zone for Phoenix' homeless? Or did he finally want his weight, 85301, to match his Zip Code, 85301.
Don Maloney ( rhymes with baloney! hmmmmmm another selling point?) thinks Wellwood is an intriguing player, while Wellwood thinks with all those sidewalks around Jobing Arena he could fry millions of eggs a day. There is no doubt that Wellwood will help out on the powerplay and maybe move the Yotes to the top half in the league he may come at a reasonable price, as long as they don't pay by the pound.
But besides his impact on special teams, it could be a win-win for both sides. If he gets too fat they can always tie him on outside and wait a couple days for the pounds to melt off. And if the hockey side doesn't work out he can always become the Yotes new mascot, he would be a helluva lot cheaper than importing a white elephant from Asia and there wouldn't be any headaches with the animal rights groups.